Political Ducklings?
Typically during
supperti
Duck: She’s the
President’s wife.
D1: The pwesident’s wife?
What’s the “pwesident”?
D2: COW?
Duck: You
remember when I was changing channels on the TV, there
was a short guy in a dark suit and big ears talking?
D1: Mickey Mouse?
Duck: No, no,
no. A MAN with a dark
suit.
D2: SPPPT!
Duck: Yeah, him!
D1: Dat guy who was talking and had lots of sad people standing
next to him?
Duck: Um,
yeah. Sad people? Oh, the secret service agents! They ALWAYS look like that.
D1: Seekwit serbiss?
D2: COW?
Duck: They
protect the president.
D1: Pwotect? From what?
Duck: Ummm…mean people. People who stick out their tongues at him or who don’t like him and
might hurt him.
D1: Who would do dat?
Duck: Democrats.
D2: SPPPT!
Hillawee!
D1: What does da pwesident do?
Duck: He runs the
whole country, he’s in charge of everything.
D1: Oh. Is he a good man?
Duck: Ummm…some people think he is, some
don’t.
D2: IP-peach! COW! IP-peach! MOO!
D1: Why don’t evewybody wike him?
Duck: Well, first
of all, this guy won’t be the president forever, they
uh…er…take turns!
D1: Take
turns! Cool. Can I have a turn?
Duck: Ummm…no, you got to be REAL old. Thirty-five years old, in fact.
D1: Aren’t you
DEAD by then?
Duck: It’s not
THAT old.
D2: COW? THURRRRRMOND?
D1: How do day
take turns?
Duck: They
vote. Every four years, we vote on who
gets to run the country….except last time.
D1: Huh?
D2:
Duck: Everybody
wants to run the country a different way.
So we have groups called “parties” and each party has a set of rules on
how THEY want to run the country.
D1: Party? Wike a birfday party?
D2: COW! NADER! GWEEN!!!
Duck: Sort of,
except there’s no cake….at least not at the Republican party.
D1: Ohh… Well is da pwesident a good guy?
Duck: Well, he
does things I think is good for the country and some things that are bad.
D2: HOWIBURTON! COW!
D1: Wike what?
Duck: He helps makes companies like the
ones Mommy and I work at rich by giving them special rules. They also make it cheap for Grammi to buy gas for her truck.
D1: Dat’s good.
Duck: Well, but
he also has rules about other things that makes rivers and lakes dirty and
makes other mommies and daddies lose their jobs.
D1: Dat’s bad.
D2: FWEE TWADE!! SPPPT!
Duck: And he sent
thousands of soldiers to a faraway country so that bad men over there can’t
hurt us and we can buy more cheap gas for Grammi’s
truck.
D1: Dat’s good.
Duck: No, that’s
bad. Our soldiers are getting hurt and
we now know the bad men over there don’t have anything to hurt us with anyway.
D1: Dat’s bad.
Duck: No, that’s
good. We got rid of most of the bad men.
D1: Dat’s good.
Duck: No, that’s
bad.
D1: Huh?
Duck: Oh,
well. The president tries to do good
things, but things don’t always turn out good.
D1: Howz dat?
Duck: Remember the week I bought you the sandbox?
D1: Yeah. Dat was nice!
Duck: That’s
because we got extra money from the president.
What he did was “lower taxes”.
D1: He IS a nice
man.
Duck: But he also
makes rules that says people can come down and chop down trees and scare away
the bunnies and the raccoons, makes Grammi’s medicine
more expensive so she can’t buy you candy, and makes other mommies and daddies
lose their jobs so they can’t get money to buy ice cream for their kids and…
D1: He sucks.
D2: DEAN! COW!
Duck: Like I
said, the president tries to do the right thing.
D1: Who was
president before?
Duck: Another guy, but he was taller. He
was friendly with everybody, but didn’t make a lot of rules. He didn’t get another turn because he already
had two turns. And he made some girls
mad.
D2: HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!! BOOTY COW!
D1: Oh.
Duck: But the guy
who is president now won’t be president forever. Somebody else will get elected.
D1: Oh,
okay. Dat’s
better.
Duck: Maybe YOU
might want to be president some day?
D1: Yeah!
Duck: What would
you do if you were president?
D1: Make evewybody take a NAP.
D2: IPP-PEACH!
Copyright 2003, www.misterduck.net